Democrat, Republican or Southern Republican

[Repairman Jack]

Hmmmm... I'd have never thought of myself as a Southern Republican, but the test can't be wrong. :)

So, which one are you?


Are you a Democrat, Republican or Southern Republican?
Here is a little test that will help you decide.

The answer can be found by posing the following question:

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, an
Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams
obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you. You are carrying a Glock cal .40,
and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.

What do you do?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Democrat's Answer:

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!

Does the man look poor! Or oppressed?

Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?

Could we run away?

What does my wife think?

What about the kids?

Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?

What does the law say about this situation?

Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?

Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to
society and to my children?

Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?

Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?

If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?

Should I call 9-1-1?

Why is this street so deserted?

We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this happier, healthier street
that would discourage such behavior.

This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for few days and try to
come to a consensus.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Republican's Answer:

BANG!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Southern Republican's Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click.....

(sounds of reloading).

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click.....

Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?

Son: Git-r-Dun Pop! Can I shoot the next one!

Wife: You ain't taking that to the Taxidermist!

[BIGKahuna]

Too funny I am definetly a Southern Republican although I am not from the South nor do I eat grits.

[Paladin]

Mykul's answer:
"Is he in a hallway?"
"I run down the hallway whilst shooting at him"

[atsui]

I'd be asking myself exactly how pissed off I'd be after reading this thread if I was a devout Muslim. Oh wait, that's what I'm doing now.

EDIT: yes, before anyone says anything, I fully understand the funny part is supposed to be about the southern republican. My point remains the same.

[BIGKahuna]

The beauty of the joke is they say an "Islamic Terrorist"
Now if they left the Terrorist part out........

[atsui]

Originally posted by BIGKahuna
The beauty of the joke is they say an "Islamic Terrorist"
If this said black "gangbanger," would it be worse? Would we then choose to denounce it as prejudice? Or would we simply agree that all "gangbangers" are black and let the joke slide. Because all "gangbangers" are black, right?

Because all terrorists are Islamics, right?

Just a thought.

EDIT: and I know there will be responses saying I'm just a bleeding heart, so I'll stop right here, promise. My only goal was the hope that someone other than me would think about this. Now feel free to attack me for not going off about the joke on the south (yes, I am fully aware of my apparent double-standard but I figured that would be pretty obvious).

[Chronoglass]

can't we all just kill everyone without predujice of race creed or secksual orientation?

[Chronoglass]

Are you an apple user, (insert favorite processor company) whore or a microsoft supporter?
Here is a little test that will help you decide.

The answer can be found by posing the following question:

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, an
angry Linux supporter with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams
obscenities, praises linus tuwhats-his-name, raises the knife, and charges at you. You are carrying a Glock cal .40,
and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.

What do you do?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Apple user's Answer:

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!

Does the man look poor! Or oppressed?

Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?

Could we run away?

What does my wife think?

What about the kids?

Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?

What does the law say about this situation?

Is he pretty looking?

is he holding any transparent plastic parts?

Do I have a bottle of lube?

why not?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(processor) whore Answer:

I stole a better OS.
BANG!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Southern Republican's Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click.....

(sounds of reloading).

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click.....

Daughter: "Daddy, does this mean I'm not allowed to use napster?"

Son: "p0wnt"

Wife: You ain't taking that to the Taxidermist!

[atsui]

Originally posted by Chronoglass
Are you an apple user...
I think I love you.

Sorry, I broke my promise! But really, this was pretty funny. :ROFL: Although I'm still unlike why the Linux user would praise Microsoft.

[Chronoglass]

Originally posted by Girl_Monster
Although I'm still unlike why the Linux user would praise Microsoft.

goes to show his zaniness your honor

as in you MUST shoot to kill.. fine, I'll fix it

[Repairman Jack]

Originally posted by Girl_Monster
I'd be asking myself exactly how pissed off I'd be after reading this thread if I was a devout Muslim. Oh wait, that's what I'm doing now.

EDIT: yes, before anyone says anything, I fully understand the funny part is supposed to be about the southern republican. My point remains the same.


Yeah, you missed the point Michelle. The point is not that it was a muslim. The point is that he/she/it screams obscenities and rushes you with a knife - intent on killing you and your family. Unfortunately, in this scenario you die. I run out of bullets. I don't care if they are white, black, red, pick a nationality or skin color, christian, muslim, jewish, pick a religion: what I care about is protecting my family and myself.

The muslim extremist works for this scenario because it is all to easy to picture one trying to kill any one of us. They would love to have the opportunity and would be proud of it. That's why they are extremists...

[BreadMan]

Umm, should this really be in jibba jabba or wouldn't it be better off in the playpen?

I would shoot him in the knees. Then I would apologize to him on behalf of my government and tell him I voted against Bush, and why is he attacking me and my helpless family in the first place?

If you think it's "all to[o] easy to picture" this sort of scenario, you really need to stop using the sensationalist media as the base of your knowledge and learn something about Islamic culture. Middle Easterners do not hate Westerners. The only thing they have against us is a certain resentment about being more free with things like sex and booze, which is understandable of any traditionally conservative culture. What they *hate* is our governments and their imperialistic tendencies, which have been routinely fucking them over for hundreds of years.

[Paladin]

Originally posted by BreadMan
Umm, should this really be in jibba jabba or wouldn't it be better off in the playpen?

I would shoot him in the knees.
In the knees? you're kidding right b? when your life is on the line you shoot to kill. the knees are a hard target, and he may not go down in time. i dont even know if i could reliably hit a moving target like the knees.

2 taps center mass, 1 to the head. my family sure as hell is making it to dinner tonight

[Chronoglass]

"expert marksmen"

though really that title only requires 12 out of 20 for the army
and 16 out of 20 with a handgun or 17 out of 20 with a rifle, or 4 out of 8 with a shotgun for the sherrifs acadamy

though.. if you draw a weapon, you put it away when the threat has ended... sooo it's all subjective

but really if we're going to go on fantasy treks of what would you do.. why not just make yourself an expert at s.c.a.r.s. and say you'd leave him without use of his arms legs and possibly his favorite neck for the rest of his life, but alive so he can't go see allah for his "deeds" and instead will die in disgrace?

Originally posted by Paladin
In the knees? you're kidding right b? when your life is on the line you shoot to kill. the knees are a hard target, and he may not go down in time. i dont even know if i could reliably hit a moving target like the knees.

2 taps center mass, 1 to the head. my family sure as hell is making it to dinner tonight

[fishmonger]

Originally posted by Girl_Monster
If this said black "gangbanger," would it be worse? Would we then choose to denounce it as prejudice? Or would we simply agree that all "gangbangers" are black and let the joke slide. Because all "gangbangers" are black, right?

Because all terrorists are Islamics, right?

Just a thought.

EDIT: and I know there will be responses saying I'm just a bleeding heart, so I'll stop right here, promise. My only goal was the hope that someone other than me would think about this. Now feel free to attack me for not going off about the joke on the south (yes, I am fully aware of my apparent double-standard but I figured that would be pretty obvious).

WTF?

It's a specific group of people. There's nothing in "Islamic Terrorist" that even IMPLIES that all Muslims are terrorists.

"Black Gangbanger" does not imply all blacks are gangbangers. Some certainly are. Most aren't.

"White Supremacist" does not imply that all whites are racists, but some certainly are.

"Cheap Jew" does not imply that all Jews are thrifty.

Etc, etc.

You could take "Islamic terrorist" out of that and replace it with just about anything, including "Incompetent Security Guard", and the rest of the prose would remain the same.

I would imagine that a majority of Muslims that are not terrorists would read that post and think "Bang!", not "OMG I AM SO OPPRESSED YOU RACIST PIG".

[enervate]

How many people carry around a loaded Glock when going on family outings? I just don't see this scenario happening. I mean really, a terrorist randomly attacking some dude in the street with a knife? Doesn't really seem like their bag if what I have been led to believe is true.

[Defiant One]

They didn't say where the street was located...

[Swagger]

Originally posted by enervate
How many people carry around a loaded Glock when going on family outings?

You aint from the South are ya boy?:D

[Area51_FLG]

good points from all, I can see GM's side and RMJ side

I'm kinda inbetweeen all of them. Any mother fucker come charging me with a knife, I would let him slice me a bit first, then I would blow the mother fucker away...regardless of what religion or color of skin... If it goes to court, I want NO DOUBT it was self defense. That's called a CYAA " Cover Your Ass American" :D ;) :heart:

[fishmonger]

Originally posted by enervate
How many people carry around a loaded Glock when going on family outings? I just don't see this scenario happening.

Concealed handguns are very, very common in Texas.

[Moddy]

Originally posted by fishmonger
Concealed handguns are very, very common in Texas. http://upload.blindedout.com//files/1/cd-44.gif

[Defiant One]

Originally posted by MyKuL
http://upload.blindedout.com//files/1/cd-44.gif

Can't really make out if it's a semi-auto or not, but if it is, I can foresee him getting hammered in the nuts by the slide recoiling backwards. :eek:

[Avery Hawk]

I was thinking the same thing...I'm thinking Photochop.....or cap gun....LOL

[Moddy]

Originally posted by Defiant_One
....I can foresee him getting hammered in the nuts...
1. Semi-Auto's recoil just as much as wheel guns.

2. The fact that you want to forsee ANYTHING that has to do with another mans nuts makes me :scared:

[Avery Hawk]

Originally posted by MyKuL
1. Semi-Auto's recoil just as much as wheel guns.

2. The fact that you want to forsee ANYTHING that has to do with another mans nuts makes me :scared:

1. Semi-autos have a slide that upon firing travels rearward over the back of the pistol to accomplish ejection of the spent shell and to champer the next cartridge. the slide travel is dictated by the size of the cartridge being fired.Dang good thing it is not a .50 desert eagle...LOL

2. We all know DO was/is our resident crotch watcher.....Man, woman ,child, goat, goatsie...he doesn't discriminate.....:heart:

[Defiant One]

Originally posted by Avery Hawk
We all know DO was/is our resident crotch watcher I have a story for you someday, that took place yesterday, while doing a rollout for a travel agency comprised primarily of kiwis wearing skirts....:rolleyes: