the darwin awards [Archive] - FLG

antishatter

10-05-2003, 11:38 AM

well if u hadnt heard their is a group of people who hold this award for the stupidist ways people die. hre is my favorite. well this elephant keeper had a constipater elephant so he had been feeding the elephant laxative to unplog the elephants bowel but after several weeks it hadnt helped. so the elephant keeper went to put a enima in the elephants ass. well teh elephant keeper was onl 5 foot 2 so he was fairly short. and when he put in the enima the elephants bowel immediatly unclogged ncoking the trainer down and durying him in a 4 foot pit of shit it weighed like300 pounds in total the guy suffocated to death and they ddint find the body for 9 days lol.

antishatter

10-05-2003, 11:43 AM

Sizzling Scaffolding
1994 Darwin Award Nominee
Unconfirmed by Darwin
(1982, Texas) At the Amarillo Fairgrounds, some buildings were in need of a coat of paint, so local contractors were hired to do the job.
Between the buildings was an angled alley with a culvert in the middle, designed to drain rainwater away from the buildings. Because of the slope, the wheeled painter scaffolding tended to roll downhill, so the painters removed the wheels on the scaffolding. They were in the process of moving the scaffolding next to a building, when the metal structure met a transformer. The painters were killed.

The story made the headlines. The town was abuzz with talk of the tragedy, how it had come to pass, and whether the city was liable for damages. The city officials decided they needed to conduct an investigation.

With much fanfare, they arrived at the scene of the incident, prepared to personally recreate the circumstances. Two officials grabbed the scaffolding in the exact same location as the two painters, began to move the scaffolding... and were promptly electrocuted.

Anasazi

10-05-2003, 11:45 AM

I love reading those stories!

It just makes me feel better know that there is one less moron in the world each time. :D

antishatter

10-05-2003, 11:50 AM

lol yep :tard:

DeadLamb

10-05-2003, 11:56 AM

with out the stories being confirmed by a 3rd outside party I tend to think many of the stories are BS.. Funny, but bs..

antishatter

10-05-2003, 11:58 AM

not all of the stories are confirmed but the 2 i posted are so their are even funnier :cheeze:

antishatter

10-05-2003, 11:59 AM

werr at least the first one i :flip: s lol

antishatter

10-05-2003, 12:01 PM

Polar Bear Swim
2000 Darwin Award Nominee
Confirmed True by Darwin
(1 January 2000, Canada) Believe it or not, there are people who dive into the ocean for a refreshing swim every New Year's Day. It's called a Polar Bear swim, and it's just a crazy ritual to most of us. Anyone who has seen the film Titanic, or read a book about Eskimos, knows that icy water brings on rapid hypothermia and death. But our hero Adrian, studying for his doctorate in Forestry, was not one to heed such trivial concerns.

This 38-year-old man was enjoying a hockey game with friends on Kingsmere Lake when he attempted a Polar Bear swim between holes cut two meters apart on the lake. He dove in at 1:30 AM and failed to resurface.

It is common knowledge that it is nearly impossible to find a small hole in the ice once you've slid beneath the surface. Particularly when you are suffering from the effects of hypothermia: low blood pressure, confusion, and weakness.

Frantic friends jumped in but were unable to find him. They aimed car headlights at the hole to help Adrian find his way back, but to no avail. "The water was only waist deep," said the man's brother. "He must have gotten disoriented."

Adrian's frigid body was recovered Saturday by firefighters, not far from the ice hole that tempted him to his doom.

hey hey hey checki tit out it says confirmedrigth their l o l

antishatter

10-05-2003, 12:20 PM

:camper: :gib: :newbie: :shockwhore: :rocket: :fukpika: :fuklinux: :biggun: :awm: :auto:

DeadLamb

10-05-2003, 12:25 PM

hey hey hey checki tit out it says confirmedrigth their l o l

hey hey... read what I typed..

I said unless confirmed and "many of"... Never said all them were BS :) many of them are just people looking to take short cuts doing something that end very very badly..

We should have a FLG board Darwin contest just for dumbest thing done by members here.. Granted, it would not be = to killing your self in a dumb way but I'm sure we have all done something pretty stupid a few times..

GotNoRice

10-06-2003, 01:32 AM

Eh, yeah I my own little moment the other day. We got one of those electric fly swatters that kinda look like a tennis racket with only horizontal lines, and it’s charged between the bars. The idea being the fly will close the circuit between a pair of bars and Zap.

Well there were two buttons on it, and I could only seem to get it to work when both buttons were pressed down, so I figured it must be some kind of safety mechanism. Of course, that wasn’t good enough for me, right. With no buttons held town, I decided to touch the metal bars and sure enough ZAP and my finger was numb for a few minutes. :hittard:

Bullfrog

10-06-2003, 05:06 AM

DeadLamb

10-06-2003, 07:45 AM

Eh, yeah I my own little moment the other day.

The two that pop into my head for me are as a little kid taking a spoon and pulling a plug part way out of the wall and --touch-- ZAP!!!!! Numbs my arm a bit and of course black marks the wall.. Still not really sure why the hell I did that, I mean as a little kid I still knew that was not a "good" thing to do..

other is at a really little kid, if my left me alone in the house, I would take scissors in one hand and a knife in the other (or two knifes) and just run around the house.. Ya know, breaking that classic "don't run with that rule". Ok that is just dumb as hell being I could have tripped and more or less stabbed myself with two butcher knifes..

Anasazi

10-06-2003, 07:51 AM

As a child we had one of those electrical lines around the edge of the yard so that the dogs wouldn't try to dig under the fence.

So some friends and I spent half an hour daring one another to touch it.
And every one of us did.

Wow was that a shocker. Probably wasn't that much of a shock, except when you’re little everything is blown out of proportion.

DeadLamb

10-06-2003, 08:21 AM

As a child we had one of those electrical lines around the edge of the yard

Close no award:

As I mentioned to Bullfrog at the last LAN I saw him at.. As a kid Bunny slayer had an above ground pool. Over this pool ran the power lines for whole house.. Ya know, one of those big thick, all in one bundle lines.. HEY that would make a perfect built in net line for pool vollyball!! YEAH!! lets watch his brothers jump off the top level and sort of pull it down into the water..

I mean I rem his brother standing there near chest high in water with the line under his arm.. hahah oh what great fun.. Now being I'm still here to type this it's clear nothing ever happend but still.. Oh man that would have been great, 6+ kids killed by pulling a power line into the pool with them..

Anasazi

10-06-2003, 08:24 AM

OH Damn!
As long as no one got hurt that would be funny as hell to see!

antishatter

10-08-2003, 04:24 PM

well u think thast dumb my friend at his old house had a electrical fence around it. similar to anasazis story except.. i dared my friend to lick it... being the total moron he is he licked it...... he could not talk fro a half hour adn may i reind peopel this was only a few years ago... i mean whoda thunk he would do it....

antishatter

10-08-2003, 04:26 PM

and yet another time the same friend might i add... actually puchaed dog crap in a cholate box under the impreession it was chocolate.. i have never let him live it down.. comsidereing he pa yed 10 bucks for a box of "chocolate" off a guy on the street even my dad laughs at him

Donnie_Doritos

10-08-2003, 04:45 PM

^
Psycho and his long lost brother antishatter... seperated at birth!!!! :hittard: :P

antishatter

10-09-2003, 06:23 PM

did i not mention that st was my frined i even have a pic of him a t a lan although the lantrocity site is oviusly down lol :D